03 February 2015

We Need To Break The Stigma


We were sitting around the table at Chick-Fil-A, my fellow MOPS leadership members and I. We were talking about jealousies, and how Satan uses them to his power and tries to break our spirit with his non-truths. We shared about having to work hard when others get things handed to them. Comparisons of every nature. Being robbed of joy in the everyday moments because they may not be as grand as others' moments.

Somehow, we got on the subject of American Sniper. Everybody and their mother has seen the movie lately -- as they should. Not only is it an amazing story of an American Hero, but I think it sheds some light, subtly, on some issues that many people don't often recognize or understand. When I mentioned the comparisons between M and Chris Kyle once he was home -- quiet, withdrawn, overprotective, the table was silent.

I wasn't saying it for the attention, or the comments. I don't talk about it because I want others to feel bad for us, or throw us a pity party. It's nothing of the sort. I talk about it because ... well ... because its just our everyday life. Living with a service-member who is affected by anxiety and ptsd isn't easy, but its our norm.

So when one of my girlfriends said something ... I honestly didn't know how to respond. She said "After watching that movie, and seeing what its like, not just for the soldier, but what his wife and family have to deal with as well? I have so much respect for you. You are incredibly strong. I don't know if I would be able to do it."

I just kind of .. shrugged my shoulders. I mean, I appreciate someone acknowledging that it may not be easy, and having respect for what we deal with. But ... what do you say? Other than, "Thanks ...", which really, just sounds ... strange.

I love my husband, that's all I do. Nothing different than any other wife, really. Sure, my husband isn't EXACTLY the same man I married these days ... but I don't fault him for it. When you are put in this kind of situation, you have a choice to make. Do you break your vow of "for better or worse"? Or do you put on your big girl panties, and learn how to love this man in front of you in a new, different way?

Clearly, I chose the later. And I will make the same choice every day, for the rest of our time together. I love my Veteran -- all of him.


  1. Yes!! Really, what else can you say, but "thanks.." M is lucky to have you. You're an amazing mama and wife!