21 August 2014

Letting Out a Little Sigh

Yesterday when we got home, I felt like I could breathe a little little sigh of relief. A breath I didn't even realize I had been holding in, until the moment it came out. Until the moment a bit of that weight from my shoulders was lifted. As parents, we want to protect our children from all the pains and evils the world around us displays, but there are some things, that no matter how much {or little} we shelter our kids, no matter what we expose them to, or hide them from, they cannot always be protected. And matters of health are at the top of the list. I learned that a few months ago when we heard for the first time that S had inherited M's genetic hearing loss. And although not a major hurdle right now, it could mean different things for her future. Yesterday, we took a step to make sure it was just that: JUST the hearing defect, and nothing else connected.

When they tested her hearing the latest round, a few weeks ago, and saw no improvement, as well as no worsening of the current situation, they mentioned a bunch of testing. Tests looking at her lungs. Her heart and her liver. All to rule out any other syndromes that could have hearing loss as a side effect. In the back of my mind, I really didn't feel worried -- we KNOW her Dad, and her Grandfather, both, have the same hearing loss. And even though it can be annoying at times to have to repeat ourselves, raise our voices, and listen to the tv or radio at obnoxiously loud levels, life otherwise, is pretty normal. The loss poses no threat to everyday life, and how she would function. I knew her chances of that being the cause of her hearing loss were incredibly great, versus some other issue. But as a parent, when a doctor says "Let's just check ... in case ..." it poses a little doubt.

"What if we don't run these tests ... and we miss something?" "What if they come back positive for something that we don't know how to handle?!" "How will I be strong enough for my child if I don't like what I hear?!"

But then ... you let go, and let God.

So yesterday, we went to the hospital. We got a CT scan done, an EKG. And a bunch of blood work, as well. To cover all our bases. And although it will be a few days before the doctors receive official word on the results, we were told from techs that things look pretty normal, at least as far as they could tell for now.

I bought S a cake pop {her choice -- I would have bought her the moon if she had asked} and we came home. To lay on the couch with lunch and movies.

And that sigh I didn't know I had been holding back? I let it go. Because for now, there is nothing in the world wrong with my little girl.


  1. I'm so glad that you went ahead and did the tests.

  2. Those preliminary results sound very promising! That's great!

  3. Sometimes the hardest thing is to just "let go and let God." Sending prayers and positive vibes to your family!