10 December 2013

What DO You Do? Week Four

We're back for the 4th, and final, week of:

The Pearl & The Pilot

Military Moms: How do handle balancing military functions with your family? Deployments, TDY, miscellaneous separations? How do you find a new network after PCS as SAHM?
Non-Mil Moms: How does your spouses’ job and schedule affect you as an individual as well as how your household operates?
Everyone: How do you feel about being a SAHM? Is it everything you expected?

Since having kids, we've done some time on both sides of the spectrum: military, and civilian, but I figured I would only answer the Non-Mil mom questions, since that's where we're at right now! 

My husband works as a corrections officer for the state prison system. For the past year, he's been working 8 hour days, Monday through Friday. Because he goes in pretty early in the morning, he gets off early in the afternoon, and we have plenty of evening time to spend with him. And we have the weekends, as well. Which has been a blessing. However, just this week, we learned that they are transferring him to another prison, and he may have to go back to 12-hour shift work. They are on 2-week block schedules, so he would be working every other weekend, and until almost bedtime around these parts. 

THAT schedule? Messes things up a lot around here. When he is home, we want to spend as much time with him as possible. But because he would be home on different week days, or working on the weekends, it changes when we can get things done. Do we go to MOPS and leave Daddy alone all morning at home? Do we get groceries today -- or wait until he's working tomorrow? What do we do all day Saturday when our other friends are doing family things, but our Daddy is working? And the kids have a hard time getting used to the schedule, since it flip flops. 

We're all really hoping that he doesn't have to pull shift work. Even worse than that, he could pull night shift, and REALLY throw the balance off at home. I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there. 

Being a stay at home mom is not as easy as I originally imagined. When I had just one little one, and she was small, it was easy to do all the fun snuggle-y things with her, while still getting things done around the house, making time for the husband, and finding time for myself. 

Now that I have two, and those two are a little older [2 & 4], that time balance has gotten harder. There is so much more laundry and cleaning to do, you want to divide your time between cleaning and the kids. And even more so, you want to divide your time between group activity, and one on one time with each of the kids. Then there's still finding time for your spouse, and if there is any time left, doing something to treat yourself. There just aren't enough hours in the day -- and that, personally is my biggest struggle: time management. 

Otherwise, life as a mom is great. I get paid in hugs and kisses. I'm on call all the time -- but can show up "to work" in sweats and no make up if I want to. Or stop what I'm doing to turn on a cartoon, take a shower, or eat a snack, regardless of what my "work schedule" dictates. I don't have to worry about taking unpaid time off if I get sick. I still have to work, but can get by doing bare minimum, if necessary. I don't have any higher ups to answer to -- I can make the household rules. And if something isn't working for us, *I* can be the one to change protocol. And I have time to be there for all firsts, milestones, field trips and learning experiences. 

To me ... for now ... this is the greatest job, in the world! 

Are you a stay at home mom?! Click on the button at the top and link up with your answers! 


  1. We struggle with doing family things vs. non-family things on the weekend. I feel bad just leaving my son with my husband so I can go out and do things, then I feel bad about taking the baby and doing things and leaving my husband. It's a lose lose in my brain.

  2. Being a stay at home mom is definitely much harder than I thought it would be. But thankfully, Like you said, I get to make the rules here.

  3. I can only imagine how hard it has to be to balance everything. You guys are amazing though.